How To Learn From Your Mistakes

I’ve always appreciated this wisdom from Randy Pausch, of Last Lecture fame:

“Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.”

It encapsulates the value of learning from our mistakes and summarizes one way we learn from our mistakes: We try something, we make a decision, and it doesn’t work the way it was supposed to. Then, we gain experience and learn that next time we’re in that situation, we should do something else or make a different decision.

But there’s another way we can learn from our mistakes. A deeper way.

Gary Kasparov, the long-time world chess champion, once outlined how he sought to learn from mistakes as he developed his world-class mind. In the book Loonshots, author Safi Bahcall outlines how Kasparov thinks.

After a bad move costs him a game, Kasparov analyzes not just why the move was bad but how he should change the decision process behind the move.

In other words, he considered how he decided on that move, considering the moment, the opponent, and the broad context of the game. He then used these insights to work on his overall strategy and decision-making process and prepped for future games accordingly.

Go Beyond the Obvious 

I love this insight. 

Beyond how it avoids the temptation to just rationalize the outcome we got with trite phrases like “everything happens for a reason,” it also goes beyond the simple lesson of “do something different next time.” 

Instead, Kasparov dives deep into the decision-making process that yielded the judgment and finds the error in his thinking. He questions his assumptions, his expectations, and even his fundamental logic.

Especially in situations when we react quickly or come to a decision effortlessly, this is a vital skill to cultivate. 

Nobel laureate Daniel Kahneman popularized the idea that our brains think in two ways. System 1 thinking is fast, automatic, and driven by emotions and heuristics. System 2 thinking is slower, more deliberate, and, as a result, more logical.

Kahneman never touched on this overtly, but it’s likely that many of these System 1 decisions—the “snap” judgments—turn out to be wrong. We relied on some heuristic, rule of thumb, or shortcut and very quickly discovered that it was insufficient. When a System 1 decision yields an unfavorable result, it’s time to apply a little System 2 thinking and discover the error.

But it’s not enough to just learn to act differently next time. The best way to learn from your mistakes is to learn why you made the mistake in the first place.

Make a deeper correction upfront, and you’ll make a better decision later.

Why Rationalizing Mistakes Limits Growth

Often, the first natural reaction to a mistake is to find comfort in the fact that everyone does it or that everything happens for a reason. On the one hand, phrases like these are very reassuring, but they often limit one’s personal and professional growth. 

Whenever we rationalize the mistake, we are more likely to repeat the same thing repeatedly without understanding or knowing, let alone addressing the underlying issue. If we keep shifting blame to external factors, we will also miss the opportunity to examine where we went wrong or what part of the planning, decision-making, or leadership caused the problem. 

So, the right way to proceed is to acknowledge the mistake, as that’s the rightful act of humility, learning, and self-awareness. 

When you accept a mistake, you will open yourself up to growth and improvement. You will be able to reflect on your performance and actions. In this way, you may be able to identify the areas where you need improvement and work on them, which will be beneficial for you in the future. 

Leaders who admit their mistakes and learn from them set an example for others to follow and create a positive work culture of continuous improvement and accountability.

How to Analyze Your Decision-Making Process 

You need to reflect deeply on your decision-making process. This means you need to make deliberate and structured efforts to find out where you went wrong and how to improve your actions in the future. Here are some steps you can follow:

Write Down Your Thoughts

When you make a decision that ends up in a mistake, write about it in your journal. Write the key factors that led to the decision in the first place, like the circumstances, the context, or your assumptions, which are the basic rationale behind the decision.

This way, you will create a record to revisit and look into your thought process, which will help you break the pattern. 

Identify Cognitive Biases

Many mistakes arise from cognitive bias, which means errors in judgment. Some cognitive biases can stem from our pre-existing beliefs, which is the ‘Confirmation Bias.’ 

Sometimes, we overestimate our knowledge or abilities, leading to ‘Overconfidence Bias.’

Another common bias that can creep into the decision-making process is the ‘Anchoring Bias,’ in which we rely too heavily on the first bit or parts of the information we receive.

Seek Feedback from Trusted Sources

Others can often provide insights into our actions that we tend to overlook. Look for trusted colleagues, mentors, or friends and discuss the situation with them.

Ask them about their opinions (with an open mind because their feedback might be upsetting), like what they think you missed out on in the decision.

How would you have better approached the situation?

Their perspective can give you deep insight into areas you have missed, and you may even be able to devise an alternative strategy that will benefit your future decisions. 

Practice Emotional Detachment

Mistakes often evoke strong emotions. You may feel regret, frustration, or embarrassment, which can cloud your judgment. 

So, make it a habit to practice mindfulness and other techniques, which will help you remove the emotional element from the analysis. Practice deep breathing, yoga, and mindfulness every day. Then, with a clear mind, think through the key points that led to poor decision-making.

Wrap Up

Mistakes may be inevitable, but they can drive growth only if you approach them with a positive mindset.

Never rationalize mistakes. Instead, investigate why they occurred and how you can improve your decision-making for the future. By going beyond the surface level and amending the way you think and act, you can set the foundation for success.

Embrace your mistakes and use them to refine, not define you.