Listening isn’t just about hearing words—it’s about understanding ideas, connecting with others, and building trust. Yet, in many workplaces, there’s a glaring disconnect: leaders think they’re listening, but their teams feel unheard. The truth is active listening is a skill—one that can be developed and practiced. When mastered, it transforms team dynamics and fosters a culture of respect and collaboration.
If you’ve ever wondered why your team members don’t feel heard—or if you simply want to sharpen your listening skills—this article will guide you through the essentials of active listening, using the “REAL” framework: Receive, Engage, Align, and Learn more.
The Listening Disconnect
A fascinating study at Harvard Business School revealed just how often listening falls short. Researchers paired participants for 25-minute conversations and periodically asked whether they thought their partner was truly listening. The results were startling: nearly 25% of the time, listeners admitted their minds were wandering, and speakers couldn’t tell whether their partner was paying attention 31% of the time.
This disconnect isn’t just academic. In conversations with team members, leaders often hear the same refrain: “I don’t feel like my boss is really listening.” Even the most well-intentioned leaders—those who make eye contact, nod, or offer verbal affirmations—can miss the mark when it comes to active listening.
From Hearing to Active Listening
Active listening requires more than passively taking in words. It’s about engaging with the speaker, ensuring clarity, and showing genuine interest. This is where the REAL framework comes into play—a simple, memorable acronym to guide your listening habits. REAL stands for Receive, Engage, Align, and Learn more.
Receive: Give Full Attention
Active listening begins with receiving the message fully. This means eliminating distractions and creating an environment where you can focus entirely on the speaker. Silence your phone, close unnecessary windows on your computer, and minimize any interruptions.
This isn’t just good communication advice; it’s foundational to building trust. When team members feel you’re fully present, they’re more likely to share openly, knowing their ideas are valued.
Engage: Show That You’re Listening
Listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s about demonstrating that you’re paying attention. Verbal affirmations like “uh-huh” or “I see” and non-verbal cues like nodding or leaning in show the speaker that you’re engaged.
Your body language plays a critical role here. Use open gestures, maintain eye contact, and avoid distractions like glancing at your watch or phone. Engagement signals respect and encourages the speaker to elaborate.
Align: Check for Understanding
Miscommunication often hides in assumptions. Aligning involves clarifying what the speaker means by summarizing or paraphrasing their words. You might say, “So, what I hear you saying is…” or “It sounds like the main issue is…”
This step not only ensures you understand correctly but also gives the speaker a chance to clarify any misunderstandings. Aligning builds confidence in your ability to listen and sets the stage for deeper discussions.
Learn more: Ask Follow-up Questions
Active listening doesn’t stop at understanding—it moves toward learning. Ask open-ended questions that encourage the speaker to elaborate. These questions signal genuine curiosity and commitment to exploring their ideas further. And they make it more like that you’re getting the full story from the person you’re listening to.
Even if you don’t agree with their perspective, taking the time to learn shows respect and builds trust.
Building a Habit of Active Listening
Developing active listening requires practice and intentionality. Start by reflecting on whether you consistently apply the REAL framework in conversations. Seek feedback from a trusted colleague to identify areas for improvement, especially during meetings or moments of conflict. In these situations, applying the REAL framework can uncover deeper issues while modeling respectful dialogue for your team. With time and consistent effort, active listening becomes second nature, strengthening trust and collaboration across your team.
The Power of Active Listening on Teams
Active listening isn’t just a communication skill—it’s a leadership superpower. By mastering the art of listening, you create an environment where team members feel heard, valued, and respected. This strengthens relationships, fosters collaboration, and ultimately drives better results.
If you’re serious about improving how you connect with your team, start practicing REAL listening today. Receive, engage, align, and learn—four simple steps that can transform how you lead and build trust.
Remember, active listening isn’t just about hearing words; it’s about showing your team that their voices matter. And when you listen with intention, you’ll find that your team responds with ideas, commitment, and trust—making everyone better in the process.
About the author
David Burkus is an organizational psychologist, keynote speaker, and bestselling author of five books on leadership and teamwork.